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Mike
Back down, cash out That's the city for you. Break down, back out Get what's coming to you. When you said you were falling apart I thought you meant you were falling apart.
$ $ $ $ $ $
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[07 Oct 2009|08:00pm] |
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St. Vincent - Actor |
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I thought I should maybe update this at least once this year, just to get on the LJ board for 2009.
I never thought, when I started this journal, that I would be writing in it as a senior in college. Looking at those words, "senior in college," makes me a little dizzy. It's frightening to think of the time that has passed since March 12, 2004, the day I started writing here. I just read about my life on this day, but four years ago. All I did was brag about soccer and how I was going to get into a good college and ask people what they thought of me like it was all important. My opinions, my sense of self, my attitudes...everything has changed. When I was a freshman, I didn't think I changed one bit from high school. Many of my friends were off on this personal search for self, but I was content and I didn't think I was changing at all. This may have happened earlier than this year, but I have changed. So much has changed...it's almost weird. I thought life was difficult as a senior in high school, but I clearly didn't talk to enough seniors in college. Maybe in four more years, I'll look back on this entry and say something similar about how I never knew how hard and complicated things were going to get. Here's a quick rundown of what's going on.
I have a girlfriend of over 2 years who I am not ready to break up with when we graduate. We've had our share of ups and downs, but right now I'm very content and I think she is too...it's actually gotten to the point of me being scared when I think about being single (do I have GAME anymore?), and that's something I never thought I would hear come out of my own mouth. I feel very connected to her and I am very much in love. People sometimes ask me what I am going to do when May comes and I graduate and she stays here for one more semester. To be honest, I don't know what I'm going to do yet. We've been apart for extended periods of time before without breaking up (Summer '08, Spring '09), but this one just seems so much bigger. We haven't really talked about it, and that's fine with me because I don't want to treat the relationship like a ticking time bomb or, on the other side of the coin, a marriage. I think I will cross that bridge when I come to it, because right now, I can't see why Sarah and I would be apart for a reason other than circumstance.
I have a thesis to write. I am so behind it's not even funny. The honors college is probably ready to kick me out. I told myself when I studied abroad that I would dedicate myself to finding a topic and getting some research done...but I really did neither of those. I did take one interesting class on innovation economics that I found interesting though, and that's actually one of the guiding forces behind what I'm researching currently, so last semester wasn't a total academic loss. I have a thesis adviser who is probably the nicest man in the econ department, which is a start, but I really need to get moving seeing as this thing is due (all 40-50 pages of it) in the spring. Until the due date though, it will be the bane of my existence as I lose sleep, desire to change my major, and doubt my future. This, combined with what must be the worst batch of classes I've taken to date, has caused me to label my seventh semester of college as the worst semester of college.
Of course, it doesn't help that I am coming off my sixth and best semester of college, the semester abroad. I lived in Galway, Ireland for 4 and a half months and now I wish every day that I could return for a few more years. I won't get into it too much, but believe me, choosing to study abroad was the best decision I have ever made. I made friends whom I never want to forget and whom I wish I could visit on a weekend-ly basis because they really are that great to me. I don't know if it was circumstance or luck, but we got along so well and grew to be friends so quickly. Our Irish friends would ask, "Did you guys all know each other prior to coming here?" and when we would tell them no, they would be astonished. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we weren't all in the same study abroad boat...would we still have become friends? Maybe, maybe not...but it happened, and I'm glad to know them all. It was nice to have a fresh start. It was nice for people to get to know me based on who I am now, rather than who I was in high school or freshman year. It was nice to be "one of the guys" for once...yeah seriously. I had little academic responsibility, virtually not a care in the world, and got to travel to some of the most beautiful cities and destinations in the world. I met so many wonderful, smart, worthwhile people. And last but not least, I lived with four welcoming, friendly, fun Irish guys who I promised to return to someday for more "craic" and probably lots of alcohol...and I intend to keep that promise, acting on it as soon as possible of course.
Unfortunately, before I can return to Eire, I need to get my future in order, and that's a problem. Law school? Grad school? Job? I have no clue. I took my LSATs and I'm waiting for my scores, but do I really want to make that kind of investment? Would I make a successful lawyer? Perhaps I should seek a career that would prefer a law degree but doesn't require me to practice law? There are so many questions and gray areas these days...and I know everyone my age is going through it, but that doesn't make it any easier. I've been so absorbed in my own problems that I've grown a little distant from my family – my poor brother has been dealing with a painful break-up and I haven't been there enough for him. My mother has been having medical procedures done to determine if she has this rare syndrome that causes her tear ducts to stop functioning, and I don't even know how her last doctor's appointment went. I haven't even been home since the start of this awful semester because I keep deciding I'm too busy and need the time to catch up on something.
I wish I could take things one at a time, but it seems that for a few months, I will need to suck it up and take things three at a time. Life has been called many things – good, unfair, short, hard, beautiful...the truth is, they're all accurate, just at different times. I'm sure things will be simpler soon enough, but for now, I've just got to grin and bear it. I'm going to start by calling home.
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[02 Dec 2008|01:42pm] |
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Stars - Life Effect |
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Quick life update, if you care:
+ I am drowning in group projects/finals
+ After four failed attempts, I finally got an apartment for next year, it's on top of a CVS (corner of Beaver and Pugh for any of you familiar with State College) and I'm just living with Kevin
+ I also have another apartment...IN GALWAY, IRELAND - I got accepted in October and will be studying abroad from January to May next semester at the National University of Ireland at Galway, taking economics classes (of course, for my major) and some other more fun classes about castles and Irish lit and stuff
+ I'm going to be so broke in Ireland, my money will be gone in 2 months, I know it, but since I don't get home until December 18th and I leave January 2nd, I don't think anyone will employ me in the meantime
+ Thanksgiving break was a little too long but it was mostly nice
+ I applied for a lame corporate internship with PNC (why do I keep compromising myself) in Pittsburgh for next summer, but if I get it, they provide housing and it's paid so it will probably be a great thing. Otherwise, I am jobless, but maybe something will fall into place
+ I made a new journal for when I go abroad but I haven't launched it yet. When I do, anyone who actually still reads this will get a link
That's it. I just want Christmas break.
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[26 Nov 2008|05:08pm] |
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mood |
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it's dark already? |
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Stars - 14 Forever |
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I HATE WINTER I HATE WINTER I HATE WINTER I HATE WINTER I HATE WINTER
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[23 Nov 2008|12:25pm] |
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calm |
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The Killers - Spaceman |
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Even though most of my life isn't here anymore, I love being home.
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[31 Aug 2008|12:54pm] |
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Electric President - Ether |
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( Where I will hopefully be in 4 months: )
Galway, Ireland - Spring 2009. Applied and waiting!
School's alright. Gotta find an apartment. Gotta make lots of $$$$.
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[20 Aug 2008|03:15am] |
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mood |
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tired |
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CSS - Air Painter |
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This Lykke Li singer chick- I previewed a few songs (she keeps coming up on Hype Machine as I try to steal the new CSS album) and without knowing anything about her, I guessed that she was from Sweden, and I was right.
What is it about these Swedish indie bands and singers that makes them so easy to pick out as Swedes? Peter, Bjorn & John, Shout Out Louds, this chick...there's something distinctly Swedish about their sound. Who knew Sweden even had a signature sound? Is there some kind of accent I'm picking up? Do they all use the same instruments? Are they all in each other's bands? I just know that they all sound similar somehow. Change it up SWEDEN. But keep producing good music.
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[30 Jul 2008|11:54pm] |
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The White Stripes - The Hardest Button to Button |
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[29 Jul 2008|12:44pm] |
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confused |
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Fleetwood Mac - Don't Stop |
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My MOM just requested to be my facebook friend. I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with this.
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[23 Jul 2008|11:42am] |
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Vampire Weekend - Walcott |
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It's my

20 years! Have a nice July 23rd everyone.
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[27 May 2008|08:45pm] |
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The Republic Tigers - Golden Sand |
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MikeH7230 (8:41:23 PM): did you know MikeH7230 (8:41:46 PM): that sometimes mormon guys put their hands on the bathroom wall when they use a urinal instead of holding their dick while they take a piss? MikeH7230 (8:41:51 PM): because theyre not supposed to touch it?
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[19 May 2008|09:10pm] |
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happy |
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Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Heers |
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Now that I'm in Utah, I'm gonna keep a more public blog here:
http://slutmike.blogspot.com
Check it ooooout! There will be cool pictures.
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[07 May 2008|12:00pm] |
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awake |
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Born Ruffians - Hummingbird |
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May 18th - August 1st
I'm moving to Salt Lake City this summer for an internship and an adventure. Life is nuts.
See ya!
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[25 Sep 2007|12:40pm] |
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!!! - Must Be The Moon |
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My cat died.
Rest in peace babygirl.
5/16/96 - 9/25/07
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[06 Sep 2007|12:13am] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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The New Pornographers - Challengers |
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Good news: + Andrew Bird @ the State Theatre, October 1st + The New Pornographers @ the Troc, October 26th + Mae, Anberlin, Motion City Soundtrack @ the Electric Factory, November 14th
And I'm attending all of the above.
Sophomore year is off to a slumpy start in general, I think.
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[26 Jun 2007|01:48am] |
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eh |
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The Format - Dog Problems |
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I went to an all black methodist church service in Washington D.C. last Sunday. And I saw Rooney live in concert and went to a hookah bar and got free drinks and baklava.
Despite having a job, my money seems to disappear before I earn it. I will never be satisfied.
Surely soon I will be mocked for continuing to use this journal.
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[27 May 2007|01:31am] |
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The Bravery - Every Word Is A Knife In My Ear |
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Tonight at work two mom-aged women walked in and asked for a booth in the bar section of the restaurant. The only open one hadn't been cleaned off yet, so I cleared the table and wiped it down for them, and then brought over their menus and silverware. One of the women stuck a five dollar bill in my pocket and said "the boys at Friday's didn't take care of us like this" and although I refused the money at first, they insisted that I took it, so I did. I felt...dirty.
But not really, it was nice.
Also I saw Mollie and Katie and their friend Leigh/Therese. Then we discussed sex, fake IDs, employment, finding Mollie a quality man, and my kindness or lack thereof. Probably the best part of working tonight.
I really need some roller coasters in my life right now. And I need to go to ( THE BEACH )
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[22 May 2007|03:40pm] |
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Andrew Bird - Simple X |
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Wow, freshman year is over.
I haven't updated this in 2 months.
I really need to change my layout. The Academy Is really says nothing about my life these days. Neither does the color purple or a picture of a city I stole from deviantart.com. Oh well, I'll get around to it eventually.
I HAVE THREE MONTHS AT HOME NOW. I have a job at Chili's but I feel like I need another one because in order to successfully carry out all my summer planz I need so much money. Too bad Chili's only has me working twice this week as a host.
It's only been like 13 days since I've left school, but this past weekend Kevin, Sarah and Meghan came to visit so that was incredible. I miss Sarah alot. I bet one day she will find this journal and see that I wrote that and then I'll be embarassed. Just like when she found my myspace account and made fun of my pictures from 11th grade, when I thought I was hot and took pictures of myself. GOOD TIMES, RIGHT? I will have to take a trip to see her soon.
Also, I need to get to the beach and an amusement park ASAP. That and NYC to visit Nikki because she's a big girl now and lives in Brooklyn. I wonder when I will grow up. Probably next summer. But I'm not in a rush.
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[21 Mar 2007|10:44pm] |
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lazy |
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Arcade Fire - Neon Bible |
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What a long day. Here's my recent to-do list.
+ Work out more + Sing more + Write more + Find time and ways to make all of the above possible
I'm glad spring is officially here, it's about time. I miss my friends.
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[17 Mar 2007|01:59am] |
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annoyed (with the snow) |
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The Magnetic Fields - I Don't Really Love You Anymore |
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I haven't left my house in two days, and now there is at least a foot of filthy awful snow outside. Let's talk about why I hate this particular batch of the white stuff.
1. It cancelled my trip to see Aaron at school.
2. It cancelled my haircut.
3. It cancelled indoor tennis with my father.
4. It cancelled pretty much all driving to anywhere.
5. It's making the end of break pretty lame.
6. It's making me wish I was away in exotic lands like my friends (i.e. Colorado, London, Florida).
7. It's making me even more aware that I haven't done an ounce of schoolwork since I've been home.
8. It's snow and snow generally sucks.
9. It's mid-March, which means spring should be starting, not winter II.
10. We just dug ourselves out of 2 feet of snow and ice and now we're buried again.
Ok, I guess that's enough reasons. On the bright side, I saw the Shins last Tuesday with Meg and the whole trip was great. Also, I've nearly beaten The Legend Of Zelda: Twilight Princess. I was never really into the Zelda series, but man this game is fun. The dominion rod? The spinner? The double clawshot? WHAT FUN GADGETS. I've been playing it for hours on end.
Oh, happy St. Patrick's Day.
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